>A Fish, a Queen, and Two Idiots

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 Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was a queen.
The queen lived among many villagers. However, two of them especially stood out… (For obvious reasons)
One day, the queen and the two village idiots decided to go fishing for salmon.
The queen quickly discovered that she had the lucky fishing pole. She immediately had a very large salmon on the line and was very excited.
After a fish is caught, the next step is to knock it out (to put it out of it’s misery.) The queen wanted no part of this so she called the village idiots over to do the dirty work. 
While they were netting the fish, the queen remembered how a previously caught salmon had escaped through a hole in the net. She became worried that her salmon would escape as well. In her adrenaline rush, she began barking orders, “Kill it! Kill it fast!!” (The queen’s voice carries, so apparently the entire town could hear)
 The village idiots had no club so they looked around for another weapon. Idiot #2 (Austin) picked up a rock. He apparently thought stoning the fish would be the best method. He threw the rock at the fish’s head. The fish flopped even more. “No!! It’s going to get away!” The queen squealed. 
Idiot #1 (Will) gently informed Austin that you are supposed to hold on to the rock while hitting it, not throw it at the fish. He tried again, but the fish only flopped more. 
The queen’s sense of panic multiplied at this sight. (She’s thinking, “They have no clue what they are doing!”)
“Hit it in the head! Knock it out! Kill it!”
The villagers clumsily worked together as the fish flipped, flopped, hopped, hooped, jumped, and jived  around the bank.  They couldn’t seem to put the fish out of its misery
The queen stammered, “Why won’t it die!!??”
Finally, while Will stabilized it with his foot, Austin managed to hit it hard enough in the head to knock it out.
Apparently, it was quite the scene to watch. There was much laughter from others as they retold the story from different perspectives. The queen was a little embarrassed by her shrieks demanding “Kill it!” but she got over it.
As the queen and her village idiots continue to laugh at the incident, there is a glimmering hope that their methods of knocking out a fish in the future will improve because of such practice.
THE END!!
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