>My stream of consciousness at 4 am

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It’s 4 am. I’m tired. Can’t sleep. I’m also hungry but don’t feel like getting out of bed right now. That was thunder I just heard. I hope Sophie doesn’t get fleas on my bed. I get married in 2 days. Bonnie is on her way here. Picking up my dress tomorrow. OR today I guess. Hope rain doesn’t get on it. What do you do with a wedding dress when you’re done with it? Seems like a waste. When am I going to pack for Hawaii. I’m so excited to see everyone. Jeanna is on her way here in a few hours. All my family. People coming in for the wedding from New York, Oregon, Illinois, Texas, California, Kentucky and of course, South Korea. For me. Our wedding. Why? Do I really mean that much to these people? I feel humbled. Through this whole thing. The parties, the gifts, the showers, the notes, the cards, the excitement of people for us. It’s so humbling. I’m loved so well by the people in my life. Hope I return that to them. I don’t feel like I do. I’m hungry. It’s raining pretty hard. I don’t want to go to the football game. But I want to be with Austin tomorrow. He’s for sure going. Be cold and wet with my fiance or warm and comfortable without him? It just started raining harder. I think it’s a sign. Gotta fold programs tomorrow. I hope I haven’t talked about wedding stuff too much to people. I’ve tried to be really careful about that. It’s hard to be single and hear about someone’s wedding all the time. At least it was for me. I still can’t believe it’s MY wedding this weekend. My emotions are a few steps behind the time line of events. I wish it would sink in more so I could fully enjoy and accept what is happening in 2 days. I wonder if I can get a nap in tomorrow. Probably not. Family is coming in town, errands to run, football game to watch. Unless I don’t go of course. I could nap during the game. Yes. I might have just made a decision. I’m hungry. Going to give in and get something to eat.
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